3.5 Ideas on Relationship GRIT from Kathryn Gordon (2 min read)
3 min readMay 29, 2025
“Relationships are like riding a rollercoaster. You’re going to go up and you’re going to go down, but just hold on and enjoy the ride.” — Kathryn Gordon
Kathryn Gordon is the bestselling author of “Relationship GRIT” and wife of renowned 17x best selling author Jon Gordon.
Kathryn co-authored “Relationship GRIT” with Jon, sharing their 28-year journey of marriage — the struggles, triumphs, and framework that helped them stay together.
With remarkable candor, Kathryn discusses the real challenges they faced as a couple, from financial struggles to communication breakdowns, and how they developed the G.R.I.T. framework (God, Resolve, Invest, Together) that transformed their relationship.
3.5 Ideas from Kathryn Gordon:
1) Don’t Keep Score in Your Relationship
- “Don’t keep score. Everything has a season. Sometimes you give more, sometimes you get more, but it’s a flow. It’s never going to be equal in one day, one week, one month, but it will equal out over the course of a long period of time.”
- “Nothing’s equal. There’s always going to be a time when one of you is giving more than the other and in a different capacity.”
- “When John is writing a book, we don’t even talk. But I know that at Christmas time, we’re going to get away. It doesn’t have to be this equal thing — it’s always been an ebb and flow.”
2) The Transformative Power of Complimenting Your Partner
- “I looked at him and said, ‘John Gordon, you better watch yourself today. You’re looking so handsome in that suit.’ The look on him — he was like the cutest boy. I realized he loved that and loves hearing that from me.”
- “I would rather be the one telling him he’s handsome instead of some woman out in the airport or wherever. Even if she does, he’s getting that at home. He feels good and appreciated.”
- “The more I started doing it, the easier it got. But then it started coming back to me more. I wasn’t giving compliments to get compliments, but it came back naturally.”
3) Focus on Strengths, Not Weaknesses
- “John Gordon is not handy. I mean, he is not handy. I’m the handy one. I could totally have used that against him, but I finally realized that’s not his strength.”
- “I call him John GPT because when I have something I’m writing, the guy is a writing genius. You have to acknowledge the strengths and differences with each of you and move on.”
- “When you focus on the strengths of your partner rather than their weaknesses, you build them up instead of tearing them down, and that energy returns to strengthen the relationship.”
3.5) What’s ONE LESSON Everyone Should Take Away?
- “Where there is a void in communication, negativity will fill it. We always go negative when we don’t hear from someone.”
- “Walk it out to talk it out. By the end of the walk, between talking it out and the endorphins, you’re in a better place.”
- “When you’re walking side by side, you’re not facing each other or in each other’s face. There’s something about that way of communicating that’s very non-threatening.”
Connect with Kathryn Gordon:
- Book: “Relationship GRIT: A True Story with Lessons to Stay Together, Grow Together, and Thrive Together”
- IG: @KathrynGordon
- Website: KathrynForReal.com
